Wednesday, June 01, 2011

“I want to be well” says the Volcano

Evil. It’s hard to pin down, difficult to figure out.

We know it when we see it, especially in others. We say, “he’s the devil” or “she’s wicked.” Locating evil is the only way to comprehend the incomprehensible, take in the unimaginable. “Why would he do something like that? How could she do such a thing?” Sometimes we attribute such atrocity, such horrific behavior to madness. Crazy people do crazy things. But, that doesn’t settle the issue; we know he was “normal.” She was “fine.” But then, everything changed. He’s not the same guy; she’s not acting like she used to. We know we haven’t changed; we’re the same person. We saw things clearly. We know what’s right and what’s not. But what about them? How do we make sense of their bizarre behavior, their destructive bent, their calloused heart? Evil. We blame evil. Evil took control. Poisoned their soul. Ruined a perfectly good human being. Evil showed up and spoiled everything. Evil becomes our scapegoat.

But what happens when we discover that evil lies within us, too? That our fiery passion can erupt and destroy others? When the molten lava of our selfish inclinations explodes and reveals what was inside us all along? What do we do when evil is no longer “other” but “us”?

This seems to be Sufjan’s struggle. Accepting that evil is our fault (not “his” or “her”) makes the landscape of our souls seem so much more messy, the terrain of our social world more chaotic. Broken relationships are sickness; death is a social disease. Why does life have to be so hard, especially when all of us want to be well? The default mode, the pseudo-response to this broken down world is to say “it’s your fault.” But, the truth of the matter is: the murdering ghost lives in all of us. Islands are formed from volcanoes. “I want it all for myself” is such a lonely life.

“Oh, wretched man that I am, who will save me from this impossible soul?”

8 comments:

Darryl Schafer said...

I hear Solzhenistyn. "Gradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either, but right through every human heart, and through all human hearts. This line shifts. Inside us, it oscillates with the years. Even within hearts overwhlemed by evil, one small bridgehead of good is retained; and even in the best of all hearts, there remains a small corner of evil."

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord...

Rodney Reeves said...

Darryl,

I was hoping you'd hear echoes of St. Paul (filtered through Sufjan).

RRR

Darryl Schafer said...

Of course I do! That's what the last line is for. :)

Matt E said...

Perhaps the bigger question is which Paul is speaking this way in Romans 7

Rodney Reeves said...

Darryl--yes you did.

Matt--I think there were two Pauls: one who identified with Gentile believers and the other who identified with his kinsmen. I talk about this (a little bit) in my book on Paul's spirituality (coming out in November).

Romans 7 captures both Pauls. How's that for compromising two extremes (the autobiographical and the biographical Paul)?

Darryl Schafer said...

I've sometimes wondered if the two Pauls collide in the overlap between the end of Rom 7 and the beginning of Rom 8...

Matt E said...

Dr. Reeves,
That sounds interesting. I don't particularly find either extreme satisfactory (not that I have a sufficient answer either!), so I'm looking forward to reading your treatment of it. Thanks.

B Grif said...

I just finished reading "The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." I couldn't help but recall this post. Like Paul, Stevenson writes about the struggle between man who is truly two, good and evil. Acknowledging the unbridled evil hiding within my own heart makes the resurrection power of the cross all the more necessary and sweet.

Purity of heart is to will one thing - S.K.