Young Calvinists are leaving the Church and I think I know why

They were stuck in the Romans 7 loop.

Lately, I've had several conversations with a variety of people who are concerned about calvinists who have left the faith.  How could someone who so staunchly defended the gospel turn their back on their election?  Of course, there are also young wesleyans, baptists, and pentecostals who have walked away from the church.  But, since I've returned to the pastorate, I can't count the number of times different people have asked me about their friends (and some well-known Christian "celebrities")--the "young, restless, and reformed" who are de-converting.  These one-time staunch calvinists don't believe anymore.  Why?  There are several reasons.  But, I'm seeing a trend in evangelical churches that I think contributes to the problem:  we promote the Romans 7 loop.  It goes like this.

You're a horrible sinner.  Your righteousness is like filthy rags.  You can do no good.  The very thing you want to do, you don't.  And, the very thing you don't want to do, you do.  You're hopelessly caught in the vortex of sin.  But, God sent his Son to pay for your sin.  What you couldn't do for yourself, Jesus did.  He died on the cross for you.  So, praise him for his sacrifice.  Thank him for saving you from your sins.  You are no longer under condemnation.  You have been set free.

The worshipper leaves church with gratitude for Christ's cross.  She relishes the feeling of finding cleansing once again.  He lingers in the presence of a worship experience that feels like water to his thirsty soul.  But, the spiritual high doesn't last long.  The week brings several occasions for worldly passions, lustful behavior, secret sins.  But, good news!  He can return Sunday to hear "the gospel" once again; she can sing the songs that remind her that, 

"You're a horrible sinner.  Your righteousness is like filthy rags.  You can do no good.  The very thing you want to do, you don't.  And, the very thing you don't want to do, you do.  You're hopelessly caught in the vortex of sin.  But, God sent his Son to pay for your sin.  What you couldn't do for yourself, Jesus did.  He died on the cross for you.  So, praise him for his sacrifice.  Thank him for saving you from your sins.  You are no longer under condemnation.  You have been set free."

And nothing ever changes.  

If you dare to suggest that there must be more to the Christian life, some pious watchdogs may accuse you of perverting the gospel.  (To them, protecting the Romans 7 loop is defending the gospel.)  And so, after a while, some evangelicals get tired of the ferris wheel and jump off.  They're sick of the ups and downs, tired of repeating the same old story.  They've been told so often that they're "lousy sinners," they decide to live up to the self-proclaimed prophecy.

It's so sad and so unnecessary.

How do we break the vicious cycle?  

Here's a good place to start:  read the verses after Romans 8:3.  The "good news" is so much more than the Romans 7 loop.